Definition: "An ergogenic aid is any substance or phenomenon that enhances performance "
Das Anabolika-Buch ist da, fellas
'We really should publish that book of ours', said Aede de Groot, the big man behind The Anabolics Book, one day a couple of years ago. 'The web version gets a couple of hundred visitors a day – there are bound to be some people who are interested.' De Groot added another couple of 20 kg weights to his bar, lay down on the bench and adjusted his grip.
'Steroids users', said De Groot.
'Our book isn't much use to them', replied Koert. 'Juicers want to know how much trenbolone they can use, and whether they can combine it with deca. They're not interested in the pseudo-oestrogenic effect of an oxymetholone tautomer, or how boldenone aromatises.'
De Groot grimaced. The hundred and sixty kilograms felt heavy that day. 'You reckon?', grunted the great chemist.
'Steroids users with some knowledge of biochemistry are about the only ones who are likely to be interested in our Anabolics book. And how many of them are there in a small European nation like ours? Too few to write a book for.'
'So we need to translate it', said De Groot, as he put the bar back in the rack. 'Into German, for example. How many people speak German on this planet?'
'About one hundred and ten million', answered Koert, whose brain housed to vast amounts of trivia. 'Including German-speaking Americans.'
'There are bound to be some German speaking steroids users who not only want to become sehr muskuliert, but also want to know more about the biochemistry of steroids', said De Groot cheerfully.
'Maybe you’re right', Koert sounded hesitant.
'I'm always right', said the chemist. 'Let's translate the book into German and publish it. We're bound to make a few intelligent and chemically minded readers happy if we do. And we'll earn a couple of bucks while we're at it.'
'I still don't think any German publishers are likely to be interested in our manuscript', objected Koert. 'It's far too technical.'
'Then we'll publish it ourselves', riposted De Groot. 'You're such a bore. It's your turn.'
Koert looked at the bar with a sigh. 'Self-published books always look terrible', he started. 'They have crappy layout, figures that are illegible... Publishing is a craft.'
The world expert on the complete synthesis of steroids, sesquiterpenes and diterpenes looked at the webmaster with a offended expression. 'No doubt we'll make mistakes. But the readers who are really interested will overlook them.'
'I think I'll take a couple of weights off', said Koert looking at the bar. 'I'm not warmed up yet.'
De Groot shook his head and sighed. 'Why can't you learn to believe in yourself?', he muttered.
De Groot stuck to his guns – which is why Anabole Steroïde – Erklaert und Zusammengefasst is now available. Its 256 pages contain everything that's also in the web version of The Anabolics Book. But it's in German. And it's true, if you look at the figures your reaction is likely to be 'they could have been better'. But maybe you're prepared to overlook that.
Don't bother to buy Anabole Steroïde – Erklaert und Zusammengefasst if it's schedules and doses you're after. You won't find a discussion about the risks of steroid use in it either, and certainly no juicy anecdotes about the wondrous world of anabolic steroids.
What you will find is when a steroid is 'gonane' and when it's 'gonene'. De Groot and Koert tell you why THG was such an awesomely effective steroid, what sulfatases are, what the 5-ene-route is, why steric hindrance makes 17-alpha-methyl anabolics orally active, to what extent enolisation... Well, you know what we mean. This book doesn't tell you what you should be popping or injecting. It won't give you schedules, doses or useful tips. What it will give you is understanding. Nothing more, nothing less.
The book costs €34.85 or $47.40 or £31.40. That includes post and packaging.
Interested? Mail your postal address to email@example.com. We'll send you an invoice. When we've received your payment we'll send you a copy of the book.